After reading many postings on running and cycling, I think it is refreshing to read something different. Let me take you to a different type of reading – to see what it entails in a Chinese wedding. For those bachelors who are thinking of getting married, you must read this posting.
For those who are not ready yet, it is good that you know what is expected of you. At least you are prepared for this occasion. For example, kneeling on your knee, you could be expected to sing a love song to win the heart of your loved one. At least when you go for karaoke sessions with your buddies, you would probably choose a more difficult posture instead of just sitting down to sing. Alternatively, sing it to your buddies.
On the other hand, you could be entering into delicate situation for singing love songs superbly. You may have to explain later to your girlfriend (soon to be your wife) why you were so good in singing love songs and declare whom the songs were previously sung to.
The best man, Han Ng, and bridegroom, Simon, both are Pacesetters runners. When Simon was actively running half marathon, Meng (Penguin-2) and I were still running in 10km races. Though Simon is younger than me, he is actually my senior in the Pacesetters Club.
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.~ Lao Tzu
Written by Han Ng
A few weeks before Simon’s wedding, he asked me to be his best man and the Master of Ceremonies for the wedding dinner. I remember pondering the question: ‘how difficult can it be?’ Boy, was I wrong! I didn’t expect the bridesmaids would be so creative, and I also didn’t realize the evening banquet was packed with so many interesting activities. All those really made me think twice about planning such an elaborated wedding day. Not to mention the aftertaste of wasabi still lingering in my mouth.
Auspicious Timing
A few days before the wedding day, Simon reminded me to be early. On the evening before the big day, Simon reminded me again to be early on his wedding day.
‘No problem,’ I said. ‘Is 8:30 a.m. OK with you?’
Simon gave me a funny look and said, ‘we leave my house at 7:00 a.m.’
I was thinking, ‘Yes problem. That means I have to get up at 5:30 a.m.!!! I don’t even get up so early for work, dude. It’s only when I do more serious or important things like the Sunday run or a marathon that I get up before 6:00 a.m. However, I haven’t been doing either of those in more than a year.’
Simon explained to me that the journey from Ukay Perdana to USJ on a Monday morning could be heavy with traffic. We would better leave early so that we could pick up the bride at the auspicious time.
All I remembered before I went to sleep was, WAKE UP REAL EARLY, JAM ON MRR2, EARLY, JAM ON KESAS, EARLY, JAM IN USJ…
I did get up real early the next day, and reached Simon’s house at 6:30 a.m. The situation in his house was a little chaotic as everyone seemed busy doing something. I met the other ‘heng tai’ (brother) for the first time. We were a little unsure what to expect for the next few hours as Simon didn’t have the time to brief us on anything other than being early.
The Convoy
When we finally departed from Ukay Perdana, the time was about 7:25 a.m. – prime time for morning traffic jam. Aside from keeping all seven cars closely together, I had the extra challenge and responsibility of transporting the video cameraman. At times, I had to drive next to the bridal car so that the cameraman can take a shot of Simon waving his hand. Other times, we had to drive slightly ahead of the bridal car on the fast lane to take a frontal shot of the car.
It was a good thing the cameraman was skillful to complete all the required shots on the first take. It was more than a little blood pumping to have to zigzag your way through the morning traffic with half a cameraman sticking out of your car window. Five minutes into the MRR2 traffic and we lost sight of the other six cars. Haha… the rest of the journey was smooth sailing as I didn’t have to synchronize with the stunt shots. All I had to do was to flow the traffic until we joined the caravan of “ribboned” cars near USJ.
It was in USJ where I met the third ‘heng tai’, Michael, who waited for us a few streets away from Alona’s house as he stayed in the area. In the course of meeting Michael, we wandered around the residential area of USJ 6, and even managed to pass the bride’s house completely before Simon realized he had missed his destination.
While Simon was waiting in the bridal car for the bride’s entourage to welcome him, we asked all three of the ‘heng tai’ to join him in the car. Simon told us that we have to learn the lyrics of a love song right there and then, in case he was asked to sing. He popped a music CD in the player and asked us to memorise the lyrics of a Michael Learns to Rock number. The three of us looked at each other and started laughing. There was no way we were able to do that in less than five minutes. We quickly wrote the lyrics of a popular Teresa Tang’s song and told him that we would sing along with him.
Overcoming Hurdles
Sure enough, before we were even allowed to enter the front yard, Simon was asked to sing a love song. Fortunately, Alona’s sister-in-laws didn’t object to the heng tai singing along. At the end of the song, Simon was asked to get down on his knees and declare his love for Alona by shouting at the top of his lungs, ‘ALONA, I LOVE YOU!!!!’ We passed the first of five tests.
The second test was a session of 99 counts of push-up’s which the sister-in-laws were willing to ‘discount’ a little due to time constraints (thank goodness for good old fashion Chinese tradition). We were led into the house and up to the door of the bride’s room.
Next came the much dreaded food test. The moment Simon took the burger handed to him, I smelled trouble with WASABI all over it. I could smell the nasty Japanese torture concoction three feet away. Before I could do anything, Simon took a bite and that was the end of the smile on his face. I knew the rest was up to the best man and the heng tai. I took the killer burger from Simon who was then gulping down the drinking water. The three of us each took a piece of the green monster and started eating away.
Well, it wasn’t long before the three of us were fighting with the groom over the glass of water. The whole thing turned real ugly, man. Have you seen four grown up men trying their best to open their mouths real wide to release the wasabi toxic fume, and at the same time, trying our best not to let our natural optical lubricant take the best of us -- ‘We are all real man! We are not afraid of wasabi.’ It was a good thing the banana slices kinda neutralized the poisonous effect of the wasabi. And if anyone said they saw us dumping the rest of the wasabi burger in the trash bin, he’s a liar, man! We didn’t even notice there was a pink trash bin with the cute little bunny next to the bathroom. And if you did find traces of the wasabi burger in the trash bin, Simon probably did it!
With our victory over the tiny Japanese killer burger, Simon again declared his love for Alona on a certificate with Alona’s family members as witnesses. The last test was the Hong Kong’s tradition of passing the red packet to open the door to receive the bride. Simon and his brother came prepared. The red packet was too thick to be slid under the door, and the bridesmaid had to open the door to accept the red packet, which opened the door to eternal happiness.
At that moment, I think the three of us were actually happier than the special couple as we know our job as best man and heng tai was done. The remaining was the customary tea ceremony in the respective houses and the many photo sessions which followed. One thing which was rather unusual was the journey to Tin Hou Gong temple before we returned to Simon’s house. The wedding couple thanked the higher order for bringing them together and promised to treat each other with respect and love. Well, I was just glad that I wasn’t the one having to stand under the hot sun in the thick 3-piece suit with a big smile for the cameras. My job was done. Wait…. There was still the dinner banquet where I was expected to be the Master of Ceremonies. That’s another interesting story which I shall share with you some other time.
To view the wedding dinner photos taken by KC at Concorde Hotel, please click here.
By Han Ng
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