In the Mood For Love

These few months leading to 4 December 2005, the Penguin Runners are busy training for the Singapore International Marathon (SIM) in the full marathon category. For runners who are also preparing for SIM, I presume all of us are in the mood for love of marathon.

When I ran my first full marathon in KLIM 2004, it was real fun preparing for the maiden attempt. I was nervous and did not know how much and how hard I should train. Luckily, PK Chan, a committee member of Pacesetters Club, was most kind to give me a copy of his training schedule.

Oh boy! I really followed the schedule dutifully: I ran almost every evening after work. In the months of November and December, these were the raining seasons. I even ran in the rain at night. Under the dimly lit streetlights, I was humming the song “walking (running) in the rain with the one I love” with only me and a stray dog hurriedly seeking for shelter.

It was a coincidence that months before that, I was reading a book on “How to Run a Marathon”. The book was written by Tony Benyon and Kevin Macey in 1986. This is the only book where I could complete reading it for three times. Usually, for other books that I bought or borrowed, I could hardly finish 10 pages before they were dumped at one corner of the house, citing insufficient time due to marathon training. Imagine I am still reading this book published 20 years ago!

I love to read this book because it was written with great sense of humour. The authors were able to work with words beautifully to the best effects. I have extracted a few pages of the book to share with you and hoping to spice up the marathon mood. Yeah, if you know where to buy the other books written by the same authors on running, appreciate it if you could let me know.

By KC

Contents below are extracted from the book: How to Run a Marathon
by Tony Benyon and Kevin Macey

INTRODUCTION

On the surface it would appear that running is one of the most natural things a human being can do and, like breathing, it is possible to do it for free. Nothing could be further from the truth. A price must be paid.

An acquaintance of mine entered the second London Marathon and trained for it for 50 weeks. Three quarters of the way through this period he was running in his local park deep in thought. His wife had finally left him the previous evening convinced he was having clandestine meetings with a lover while out training. Their deteriorating relationship had caused him to lose concentration at work and a junior colleague to be promoted over him.

This already sad man was suddenly dragged to the ground by three Alsatians. His life was saved only by the intervention of the owner. Staggering to his feet, his nerve snapped and he cursed the owner with every foul oath known to man, and after threatening to give him a good kicking he walked away promising to call the police.

Apologetically, the stranger informed him that he was a policeman. In fact, he was a police dog handler and the foaming creatures were also a bona fide part of the constabulary. Feeling crushed by fate, he retuned home with only his obsessive thoughts of the marathon to give him strength. Alas, two weeks before the race, a cyclist ran into him and broke his ankle. In his own philosophical words, “there is always a price to pay for having a good time”.


WHAT TO WEAR

SHOES

On entering a modern sports shop you will be amazed by the rows and rows of designer running shoes. Do not make the mistake of falling in love with the ones that match your eyes or the ones that make your heart beat faster because of some inexplicable chemical reaction between you.

Shoes that look wonderful but don't fit can be dangerous because they cause sores and blisters. And if they are too big and you have a high running action one could fly off and knock out a pedestrian's eye. Even worse, your shoe could fly through the open window of a passing truck and stun the driver causing him to crash into a supermarket killing hundreds of shoppers. Would you want this on your conscience?

The types of shoes on sale are incredibly varied; there are shoes fitted with stabilizers, computers, digital grips, graphic equalizers and countless other electronic gadgets. In the future when you put on your running shoes they will automatically sink hypodermic needles into your feet to place you in suspended animation while the shoes complete the race for you.

It is important to remember to buy your shoes in the afternoon because this is the time of day when your feet are at their largest. I'm not sure of the right time of day to buy jogging bra, but similarly you should try on both shoes because one foot is also larger than the other.

SOCKS

Runners sometimes elect to run in shoes without socks, but less frequently run in socks without shoes. The purpose of the sock is to offer the foot protection from those parts of the shoe that rub against it. But it is essential to keep your socks clean because if they get stiffened with dried sweat they can cause as much damage to your feet as shoes and also screw up your social life.

If you wear double-soled cotton or woollen socks but find you have to stop every two miles to squeeze out the excess moisture, then you should change to a synthetic material that dries out faster.

Sadly, socks have been known to break up marriages, and anyone cursed by particularly moist or pungent feet should remember to put their socks out at night, preferably in a sealed plastic bag. If you toss them out of the back door without sealing them up you will wake in the morning to find several stunned cats on your door step.

However, their pungency can work to your benefit. Horticulturists claim that some socks buried in a flower bed act as a superb deterrent to slugs.

The fashion of the moment is the short sock, but it is believed manufacturers will soon be bringing out the long sock which will offer the professional runner more room for carrying advertising.

SHORTS

Baggy knee-length shorts are a thing of the past. Today's thing is maximum leg exposure, shorts with thigh-high splits at the sides or even more recently, shorts that look increasingly like swimming trunks. Doubtless runners will soon appear on the streets in jock straps and G-strings; they will be luminous, of course, to help night drivers.

The ideal pair of shorts must not be tight around the waist but secure enough not to drop to the ground after the wearer has taken half a dozen strides. A runner without confidence in his or her shorts can suffer a spiralling anxiety effect which can increase the pulse rate alarmingly.

The material shorts are made of cannot be too light in weight. Hand-knitted shorts absorb moisture and will drop to the ground during heavy rain. Synthetic materials are lighter, less abrasive and dry more quickly. They also come in the most delightful colours which makes accessorising more fun and provides you with a better chance of matching your eyes.

Men mainly wear swimming trunks or a jock strap under their shorts while women prefer cotton briefs. As yet the boom in split crotch lace sporting panties has not materialised; which doesn't mean to say it won't.


VESTS

Wearing a string vest during the summer months will give you the appearance of a seasoned runner. Even more modern is the vest with the mesh midriff and the satin strip across the chest. Not only is it the poseur's delight but it also stops jogger's nipple while still allowing the navel to breathe.

Try to avoid wearing 'Sub Four Minute' vests while you are still at the staggering stage; even stray dogs will spot you as a fake. It is also advisable not to wear vests with such slogans as 'Marathon runners do it for hours on end' otherwise you will become instantly unpopular with the serious runners whom you may want to impress.

However, in these days of sponsorship it is quite acceptable to wear vests that carry some form of advertising extolling the virtues of a local garage or restaurant, but avoid any products that may encourage people to stop you in the street while you are running and ask you for brochures. Having your training runs interrupted is not beneficial.

Greengrocers' advertising should never be accepted. It can be a great embarrassment to a woman if she has to run through the streets with 'Ripe Melons' written across her chest or for a man to have 'Fresh Fruit' emblazoned across his; a training run can easily turn into a pursuit.

Next month, the effect of marathon running on your SEX life and SOCIAL life.