I was lucky. I went to the Subang Jaya library wanted to borrow computer related books. I then spotted this book laying on the shelf. After a closer look, it says, “I Run, therefore I Am -- NUTS, by Bob Schwartz.” Hmmm, sounds interesting. Without hesitation, I borrowed the book.
The whole book is about funny experiences encountered by the author when running the various marathons. I would like to share with all runners some of the funny ideas extracted from this book. This book brings out the humor in situations that every type of runner can relate to:
On African Quotes
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the lion or it will be killed.
Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than even the slowest gazelle, or it will starve.
It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or gazelle -- when the sun comes up, you would better be RUNNING.
When the author’s wife first read this quote upon arising, she simply stated, “I live in the Midwest. Last I looked, there isn’t no lions or gazelles here. I am going downstairs preparing breakfast while you go ahead and figure out which African animal you are.”
Does Effort Bring Results?
We runners are often bombarded by motivational words seeking to make the meek [mild and patient] into the mighty. Or at least the snail into the gazelle. From Just Do It, to When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Goes Running. We are sold on the premise that effort breeds results.
Preparing for a Marathon
I was about to run a marathon in the heat of summer and I proceeded to drink water, water, water. My activities the day before the race were then confined to either standing in the bathroom or at the kitchen sink re-stocking my water bottles.
Runners’ Spouses
The spouses of runners also realize that sometimes the timing and destinations of vacations are planned solely around an accompanying race. Any form of sightseeing together is on hold until after the race. Saturday night’s meal won’t be at the famous five-star gourmet restaurant in the hotel, but at the all-you-can-eat pasta buffet dinner with free garlic bread at race headquarters.
Runners’ Shoes
Running spouses must also acknowledge that we runners are more concerned about rotating our excessive supply of running shoes than rotating the car tires; we own more waterproof running suits than business suits, and that half our wardrobe has reflective fabric for visibility in the dark.
E=MC Square
But we runners couldn’t care less about energy being equal to mass times the speed of light. We are more concerned with our lack of energy if our mass increases and produces the speed of fright.
Good and Bad News
The first mile marker arrived quickly and the split time provided me with good news and bad news. Good news was that I was 20 seconds ahead of my PR (personal record or personal best, PB) race. The bad news was that I was 20 seconds ahead of my PR best. Marathon anxiety had officially begun.
Traffic Junction
When you are cruising along with the euphoria of endorphins in full bloom, with no hint of fatigue and in no need or desire of a rest, the traffic signals will always be red at the intersection -- requiring you to stop your effortless pace.
Attack by Dog
When the large German shepherd down the street hops his fence and renews his desire to be my running partner by attempting to grasp onto my left thigh.
Hitting the Wall
I eventually appreciated the wall as something other than an album by Pink Floyd. [Note: Pink Floyd is a popular group of singers who produced a famous album called The Wall.]
Not So Scarlet Letters -- DNF
I always had a bite-the-bullet, grit-your-teeth and pound-your-chest approach to racing. I also recognized that there were going to be some race days when the powers that be would determine I had no power to be.
Note by KC: DNS – This is an acronym for Did Not Start. The situation is even worst than DNF (Did Not Finish). At least in DNF, a runner would have tried and is not able to achieve his objective of completing the race. DNS means the runner is never able to make it to the starting line. Of course, we use DNS for showing displeasure of circumstances which stands for “Dew Na Sing”... xx :-))
The whole book is about funny experiences encountered by the author when running the various marathons. I would like to share with all runners some of the funny ideas extracted from this book. This book brings out the humor in situations that every type of runner can relate to:
On African Quotes
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the lion or it will be killed.
Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than even the slowest gazelle, or it will starve.
It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or gazelle -- when the sun comes up, you would better be RUNNING.
When the author’s wife first read this quote upon arising, she simply stated, “I live in the Midwest. Last I looked, there isn’t no lions or gazelles here. I am going downstairs preparing breakfast while you go ahead and figure out which African animal you are.”
Does Effort Bring Results?
We runners are often bombarded by motivational words seeking to make the meek [mild and patient] into the mighty. Or at least the snail into the gazelle. From Just Do It, to When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Goes Running. We are sold on the premise that effort breeds results.
Preparing for a Marathon
I was about to run a marathon in the heat of summer and I proceeded to drink water, water, water. My activities the day before the race were then confined to either standing in the bathroom or at the kitchen sink re-stocking my water bottles.
Runners’ Spouses
The spouses of runners also realize that sometimes the timing and destinations of vacations are planned solely around an accompanying race. Any form of sightseeing together is on hold until after the race. Saturday night’s meal won’t be at the famous five-star gourmet restaurant in the hotel, but at the all-you-can-eat pasta buffet dinner with free garlic bread at race headquarters.
Runners’ Shoes
Running spouses must also acknowledge that we runners are more concerned about rotating our excessive supply of running shoes than rotating the car tires; we own more waterproof running suits than business suits, and that half our wardrobe has reflective fabric for visibility in the dark.
E=MC Square
But we runners couldn’t care less about energy being equal to mass times the speed of light. We are more concerned with our lack of energy if our mass increases and produces the speed of fright.
Good and Bad News
The first mile marker arrived quickly and the split time provided me with good news and bad news. Good news was that I was 20 seconds ahead of my PR (personal record or personal best, PB) race. The bad news was that I was 20 seconds ahead of my PR best. Marathon anxiety had officially begun.
Traffic Junction
When you are cruising along with the euphoria of endorphins in full bloom, with no hint of fatigue and in no need or desire of a rest, the traffic signals will always be red at the intersection -- requiring you to stop your effortless pace.
Attack by Dog
When the large German shepherd down the street hops his fence and renews his desire to be my running partner by attempting to grasp onto my left thigh.
Hitting the Wall
I eventually appreciated the wall as something other than an album by Pink Floyd. [Note: Pink Floyd is a popular group of singers who produced a famous album called The Wall.]
Not So Scarlet Letters -- DNF
I always had a bite-the-bullet, grit-your-teeth and pound-your-chest approach to racing. I also recognized that there were going to be some race days when the powers that be would determine I had no power to be.
Note by KC: DNS – This is an acronym for Did Not Start. The situation is even worst than DNF (Did Not Finish). At least in DNF, a runner would have tried and is not able to achieve his objective of completing the race. DNS means the runner is never able to make it to the starting line. Of course, we use DNS for showing displeasure of circumstances which stands for “Dew Na Sing”... xx :-))
x
1 comment:
HI KC...I bot this book from Borders when it first open in KL. You reminded how funny this book is!!
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